Vol. 2 Issue 1
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MARRY A NEWSIE!
The pre-wedding butterfly jitters crawl up in your stomach as you hear your cue. Everyone in the chapel stands up as you appear. Some are crying for joy, others have smiles on their faces from ear to ear.
As you start to walk down the isle in your beautiful 19th century
wedding dress
you can see your Newsie groom smiling and waiting for you. To your surprise he's looking very classy in a very stylish suit. You shyly smile to yourself making a point after the ceremony to ask where he got it from. Finally you reach him and you exchange loving smiles. Gently he takes your hand in his as you both turn to me, the wedding administer.
"Dearly beloved, we's gathered heah today to join togetha this heah goil and this heah Newsie in virtual matrimony. If any of youse punks wanna show just cause why these two should not be virtually joined togetha, tawk now or forever hold yer peace."
I look around and nobody seems to object.
"Alright, Newsie, will ya take yer goil to be yer virtual wedded wife? Will ya love her, soak any Delancy bruddah who touches 'er, and keep her when she ain't feelin' so hot?"
I'se do.
"And will you take dis heah Newsie to be yer virtual wedded husband? Will ya love him, make sure he gets up ta sell his papes, and keep him when he ain't feelin' so hot?"
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What'am t'inkin'?!
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I'se do.
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